Stupidest mistake I've ever made!

I am such an idiot I could shoot myself. Today I get something in the mail from the loan company for my new car. I was thinking maybe it was a check, that's what it looked like, haha. Instead it was a LATE NOTICE telling me that I didn't make my payment this month. I was looking at it thinking OH YES I DID!!! So I raced into the house and looked at my statement online. I see the payment, it was cashed on 8-13. So, I was like, yeah that's what I thought! So, I call the loan company and leave a message because they are already gone. I was like, "Hi, I received a late notice from you guys and on my bank statement it shows you cashed my check on 8-13." So, I began reading them everything on the check.."pay to the order of bla bla bla, for the amount of....wait a minute, I just said pay to the order of bla bla bla.....that's who my last car loan was through!!" "OMG!!!!! I paid the old loan company." My car has been paid off with them, my account is closed!!! HOLY SH%T. So, I call the place I DID PAY on accident and explain to the girl the problem and she said it's gonna take 21 business days before they will mail me a check. I am freaking out here. Who has an extra $421.00 to make a double payment because the first one went to the wrong person????? I am so pi$$ed at myself right now. I hope this doesn't show up as a late payment on my credit report!!!!!

And the latest

I went to the OB today and he said if I don't miscarry on my own by Monday he will do a D&C on me next week. I am extremely afraid of ansthesia or gas. I am very very scared of it. So, please pray that this pregnancy will miscarry on it's own before then. Thank you so much!

My HcG level dropped a lot since Thursday.

Well I had more blood drawn today. Since Friday my HcG went from 36,000 to 25,000. I put a call into my OB to tell him this and he isn't there today. I am so ready for all of this to be over with. I am sick of dragging it out and having false hopes. And once your HcG starts dropping you pretty much know somethings not right. I just wish I would start miscarrying already. I can't stand this anymore. My high risk Dr is the one that has done the ultrasounds and the blood levels. Time for my OB to step in here and make a call. Ugh, makes me sick. Let's get this over with.

Baby boy stop growing up so fast..

As I sit here in tears I can't believe my baby boy is turning two tomorrow. It just floors me at how fast his little life is going. We had his birthday party yesterday at Playtime Party Center in Wentzville. It turned out to be a blast. Greyson got to put his handprint on the wall in his party room with his name. That was super cute. They had pizza, cake, ice cream, soda and lots of fun playing the games and riding the rides. Greyson was getting sick of not being able to get the skeeball balls in, so he took matters into his own hands. Then Austin followed. When it was time for Henry the Hippo to come into the room, Greyson started screaming and backing away, so I got no pictures of them together,awww. We had a great day, he got some wonderful presents from everyone. Our house was a disaster when we started opening everything up!

I took the day off tomorrow, Monday to spend with Greyson. I just wanna love on him so much. I know some day he won't want me squeezing on him so tight. OK, I'm crying.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREYSON!!! I LOVE YOU MUCH MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER UNDERSTAND!!

Just riding the next 2 weeks out

One of my friends sent me a link to a website for misdiagnosed miscarriages. There are women on there that went through the same thing as me, tilted uterus, sac growing and not able to see the baby. But, at about 9-10 weeks they are able to see the baby. So, I am not getting excited nor sad. Just riding it out. In 2 weeks if nothing has changed then we will be 100% sure it's not gonna work! Thank you all for your support!

My 2nd ultrasound today..

I went today for my 2nd ultrasound expecting to see a heartbeat. The sac had gotten bigger but still nothing in it. The Dr said he couldn't get a clear view but he doesn't think it looks viable. Today I should be about 7 weeks 5 days. So, I am just waiting till something happens. He is having me come back in 2 weeks for another u/s which at that time he will be able to make a clear call on it. So, here I wait another 2 friggin weeks.

One of the most amazing videos I've ever seen

My Dr's visit

I had my ultrasound today and I was a little concerned but I know it's all in God's hands. At first the tech had a hard time with the vaginal ultrasound. I told her my uterus is tilted so she tried it the normal way on the belly. She did find the sac and I am measuring at 6 weeks and 3 days. That's about a week different than I thought. I was hoping to hear a heartbeat but it was just the sac. So, I have to go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound. Hopefully then there will be a fetal pole and a heartbeat. I did get a picture of the ultrasound, but you don't wanna see it. It's so teeny tiny. She had a hard time finding that. Maybe I should lose some weight, then she'd have found it easier...don't get me started. Anyway, I will let you all know in 2 weeks. Obviously if there isn't a fetal pole then, it's not a good pregnancy. So, we shall see. This happened with Greyson too, so that's why I am not going to get upset about it. Have a great weekend.

4 more days!

This Thursday I am going to have my first ultrasound. I am thinking really positive about it. I have so many pregnancy symptoms, it's hard to think anything isn't right. I swear I am feeling little pings in my stomach, but it's too early. You never know though. I am really hoping it's a girl this time around. So think pink, pink, pink.

Here are some new pics. Daddy decided to take a nap in Greyson's room on the floor with him. I went in there to see what was taking Carlos so long to come back out of there, and there they were sleeping. So sweet! I think their nap was like 3 hours.