May 18, 2008

Windy, but beautiful weekend

This weekend has been so great. The temp has been in the high 70's. Yesterday our friends Cari and Jeff got married at The Lake St. Louis park. Talk about pretty. Tess sang a song by Lifehouse, they let doves go, all in all it was so romantic and beautiful. After the wedding we took some pictures of Greyson taking advantage of the pretty scenery. He never smiles for pictures though, NEVER...haha. My friends daughter Elsie is about 8 months older than Greyson and she was in love I think, LOL. She was bossing him around, trying to dance with him, so hilarious to watch.
Today we are going to BBQ some chicken and have corn on the cob with it. Carlos and Greyson have been outside and this time Carlos has been taking the pictures of Greyson. He must be taking after his wife, I can't remember her name.
I really should be outside trying to get some son on these starch white legs. I know I would just burn, so I will just get over that idea. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

May 1, 2008

New Office Policy

EFFECTIVE May 1, 2008


Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break: (Love this one)

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management