October is here!

Today was 66 degrees, sunny and really windy. There was a definite chill in the air, but it felt very refreshing. I got off at 11:30 today and decided to call my great friend Angie from high school up and ask her to go to Pumpkins Galore with the kids. There were so many things for kids to do! I never remember getting to do anything like this when I was young. They got to play in a bouncy house and a huge sand box. There was round, metal pools filled with lots of corn to play in. They had a great time in there. They got to feed the goats. They were a little scared. The food came in an ice cream cone. Those goats were real good at just taking the whole cone from you. They weren't waiting around for us to get the corn mixture out of them...haha. Greyson just stared at them like what the heck is that? Austin (Angie's youngest) and Greyson get along so well. They were in this Fisher Price house pretend cooking for about 30 minutes. I had to peel Greyson out of there. I really need to get one of those. Too bad they are like $250.00. When we got home I put some fall decorations up and lit some of my spice candles..yum. Here are some pictures, of course. I hope everyone has a great October! Welcome Fall! This is most definitely my favorite time of the year!

When Mommy's away.....

So, today Carlos was off work because it's been raining so hard from this hurricane. He tells me Greyson can stay home with him. I was happy about that. I got to spend an extra minute on the computer checking my emails this morning. As the day goes on, I call a couple of times and see what they are doing. One time they were napping, one time they were eating..or two times they were eating. Anyway, I get home from work and I look at Greyson and about fell on the floor. I've been telling Carlos that Greyson needs another haircut. Well, Daddy took it upon himself to cut it. I have to admit he did a pretty good job. Carlos has never had a haircut by anyone but himself. He cuts his own hair, his brother's hair, and his friend's hair. I never thought Greyson would sit still long enough for him to cut it. He gave him a buzz with a little bit longer bangs. Carlos put some gel in it. Yeah, I am not going to be putting gel in a two year olds hair every morning. He barely lets me change his diaper in the morning he's so tired, let alone put gel in his hair. Oh boy. It is really cute, but his little ears are even bigger.....So here are some pictures. The only way I could get a side picture was by telling him to kiss the cereal box. What do you think? I have a feeling Daddy isn't gonna let me spend $12.00 on a haircut anymore.

The wait is over...maybe TMI

I woke up this morning and could barely make it to the bathroom in time. I could feel the "stuff" gushing out. As soon as I got to toilet I knew it was what was needing to pass. I actually looked at it...ewww. But I had to. After that happened, I was in severe pain. It was so bad I called the DR on call. She called me in a pain medicine and said the cramping should really lighten up. Well, it didn't, it just kept getting more severe and painful. I was so clammy feeling and couldn't make myself comfortable any way. My Mom came over with breakfast and I had to leave her in the kitchen and go lay down. I laid down for a couple of hours and didn't fall asleep once. She went home and told me to call her if I needed to. It hurt so bad, all the cramping. So, finally I called my Mom and asked her to take me to the ER. She came over and brought me right away. I sat in the waiting area sweating my ass off and feeling sick from the pain for about 40 minutes. I felt they weren't taking me serious enough, but I finally got in. After I got in the room I sat in there for another 2 hours uncomfortable and restless, asking for pain medicine. When the DR finally got in there he did a pelvic exam which made it worse and then he said he was gonna have the on call DR come in and give me a D&C and I would be admitted over night. So, Mom called my boss to tell her what was going on. I finally got some Dilotin, not sure if I spelled that right or not. It made me feel better instantly. But that lasted only about an hour. He said it was a short acting drug...gee thanks....Then the DR came back in and told me that he wanted me to wait to see my OB tomorrow. So things changed so fast. I don't know if it's because it's the holiday weekend and no one wanted to come in? I was at a hospital that my OB didn't go to, but still, someone could have come in. So, tomorrow I will be going to see my OB. I feel like I have already passed everything. Now I am just doing some really heavy bleeding and cramping. He sent me home with some extra strength Vicodin. It isn't very strong at all, but I am scared to take more than it says. Anyway, that's what is going on with me. I am going back to bed hoping when I wake up the cramps will have lessened......ugh...this has been so terrifying. I have felt like I was dying today! Seriously...

Stupidest mistake I've ever made!

I am such an idiot I could shoot myself. Today I get something in the mail from the loan company for my new car. I was thinking maybe it was a check, that's what it looked like, haha. Instead it was a LATE NOTICE telling me that I didn't make my payment this month. I was looking at it thinking OH YES I DID!!! So I raced into the house and looked at my statement online. I see the payment, it was cashed on 8-13. So, I was like, yeah that's what I thought! So, I call the loan company and leave a message because they are already gone. I was like, "Hi, I received a late notice from you guys and on my bank statement it shows you cashed my check on 8-13." So, I began reading them everything on the check.."pay to the order of bla bla bla, for the amount of....wait a minute, I just said pay to the order of bla bla bla.....that's who my last car loan was through!!" "OMG!!!!! I paid the old loan company." My car has been paid off with them, my account is closed!!! HOLY SH%T. So, I call the place I DID PAY on accident and explain to the girl the problem and she said it's gonna take 21 business days before they will mail me a check. I am freaking out here. Who has an extra $421.00 to make a double payment because the first one went to the wrong person????? I am so pi$$ed at myself right now. I hope this doesn't show up as a late payment on my credit report!!!!!

And the latest

I went to the OB today and he said if I don't miscarry on my own by Monday he will do a D&C on me next week. I am extremely afraid of ansthesia or gas. I am very very scared of it. So, please pray that this pregnancy will miscarry on it's own before then. Thank you so much!

My HcG level dropped a lot since Thursday.

Well I had more blood drawn today. Since Friday my HcG went from 36,000 to 25,000. I put a call into my OB to tell him this and he isn't there today. I am so ready for all of this to be over with. I am sick of dragging it out and having false hopes. And once your HcG starts dropping you pretty much know somethings not right. I just wish I would start miscarrying already. I can't stand this anymore. My high risk Dr is the one that has done the ultrasounds and the blood levels. Time for my OB to step in here and make a call. Ugh, makes me sick. Let's get this over with.

Baby boy stop growing up so fast..

As I sit here in tears I can't believe my baby boy is turning two tomorrow. It just floors me at how fast his little life is going. We had his birthday party yesterday at Playtime Party Center in Wentzville. It turned out to be a blast. Greyson got to put his handprint on the wall in his party room with his name. That was super cute. They had pizza, cake, ice cream, soda and lots of fun playing the games and riding the rides. Greyson was getting sick of not being able to get the skeeball balls in, so he took matters into his own hands. Then Austin followed. When it was time for Henry the Hippo to come into the room, Greyson started screaming and backing away, so I got no pictures of them together,awww. We had a great day, he got some wonderful presents from everyone. Our house was a disaster when we started opening everything up!

I took the day off tomorrow, Monday to spend with Greyson. I just wanna love on him so much. I know some day he won't want me squeezing on him so tight. OK, I'm crying.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREYSON!!! I LOVE YOU MUCH MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER UNDERSTAND!!

Just riding the next 2 weeks out

One of my friends sent me a link to a website for misdiagnosed miscarriages. There are women on there that went through the same thing as me, tilted uterus, sac growing and not able to see the baby. But, at about 9-10 weeks they are able to see the baby. So, I am not getting excited nor sad. Just riding it out. In 2 weeks if nothing has changed then we will be 100% sure it's not gonna work! Thank you all for your support!

My 2nd ultrasound today..

I went today for my 2nd ultrasound expecting to see a heartbeat. The sac had gotten bigger but still nothing in it. The Dr said he couldn't get a clear view but he doesn't think it looks viable. Today I should be about 7 weeks 5 days. So, I am just waiting till something happens. He is having me come back in 2 weeks for another u/s which at that time he will be able to make a clear call on it. So, here I wait another 2 friggin weeks.

One of the most amazing videos I've ever seen